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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Writer's brick?

I am very confused and sick.
Do I have writer's block, or brick?
I'm not too sure,
And I cannot cure,
But what I type is a lymeric!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Eleven thirty at night.

Eleven thirty at night.
Only the creaking of the fan above me
And the cricket in the attic
To keep away the ringing ears.
No one is awake but I,
Sitting all alone at my computer.
But I am not lonely.
How strange it is to know
There is somewhere I must go tomorrow.
Must get up early.
So why am I still awake?
Perhaps it is the peacefulness.
No real communication with those I know,
Or if so, very limited.
Just me, a bright screen,
The creaky fan, and God.
Everything else in the room melts away.
My head tells me I must go now.
Must get up early.
I must sleep to do so, after all.
So I bid you goodnight, dear reader.
Dear, dear reader.
And so I bid you goodnight, dear reader,
And I shall see you when the moon is gone.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Babysitting

I babysit a little boy who lives across the street (we'll call him Billy for safety matters). I watch him once or twice a week. He's a very rambunctious 5-year-old, often getting into things he shouldn't. Needless to say, I'm constantly following him around. But, he's starting to learn the rules of the house, at least. Billy loves painting with watercolors and eating his snack in front of the tv. Unfortunately, I'll usually go through the trouble of putting a movie on, and Billy will say he's bored with it as soon as he's done with his snack. That's about ten minutes into the movie. It's amazing what a short attention span he has!

I'm babysitting his today for a few hours in the afternoon. His dad called just a little while ago. Unfortunately, as soon as we got the basics down (time), the phone cut out and finally dropped the call. I'm hoping he didn't think I hung up on him! He never called back. I think he wanted to discuss payment, since I babysat twice last week for short incremements. Maybe he wanted to pay only for one day, since the two days' hours together equaled a full day?

In that case, then it would be horrible if he thought I hung up on him! Oh gosh... I really hope that's not the case!

I won't even find out 'til after lunch!

~~~

Edit: All turned out okay, thank goodness! "Billy" is over as I type, happy as can be.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Selfish

I feel like such a jerk. Sometimes I push it too far... I get too annoying, wanting the person to do something. Like to join a website I think they'd like. But then... it all crumbles. They don't say anything, but I'm left with the uncertainty... and myself.

Did you know I just said "I" five times? As if it's all about me.

I can get so sarcastic with people. Just joking with them and all... but then it turns serious out of the blue. God, please make me more selfless... humble my heart! I sometimes feel like I'm the best thing that ever walked the planet. How can I be so selfish?! So arrogant?!

Oh Lord, please humble my heart!

I really have no right to have a low self esteem. I'm God's creation, after all. But then, should I have a high one? Confident in myself? Where is the point when one is simply confident in God?

Is it okay to want to look nice? Is it okay to want to wear makeup, dress nicely, be slim, and try to get a nice haircut? Or is it all just vain self-absorption? Would it be better if we were all plain? Maybe the Amish have it all down the right way... But then again, God forgives. But at what point is vanity a sin? What kind of heart should I have?

...Or is this just a real-life example of my last post?

Lord, please guide my heart!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Teenage years

The teenage years are so annoying. Everywhere you turn during school hours, you're surrounded by blobs of hormones opening lockers, chatting, taking notes... Let alone the emotions you're feeling! It's like a roller coaster with bad seatbelts. You nearly fall out when you're at the top, and just when you think it's over, your seatbelt sticks. And WHOOSH! You're stuck on it for another round!

At least, that's "teen" by my definition. After all, hormones seem to be the motive behind most of what we do. Gossip maliciously, wink at that senior, argue with the parents. If we didn't have such extreme emotions, life would be much easier! But on the other hand, where would that leave us?

So, I guess you have to take the good with the bad, then. Or at least try to find the good in that bad. Or even go swimming in the bad and hope one day you find the good... but now I'm confusing even myself.

Confusion? Oh no, it's those hormones again!

The Adventures of Dan and the Gang - Forest Fire

My dad and his friends were rather naughty, sometimes having firecracker wars in the woods. This was done by simply dividing into two teams, lighting firecrackers, and throwing them at each other. I have no clue what went through their little heads, but apparently this was "fun"!

On one occassion, my father had a brilliant idea. Instead of having to light each one individually, when not just create a little fire on the ground so the firecrackers could be lit quickly? This proved revolutionary to our little band of junior highers, and soon the other team had their own fire going as well.

The war was raging between the two teams when suddenly they realized that the fires were spreading! Brush had caught and was now moving quickly. Fear of the fire seized them first, quickly followed by fear of what the parents would do. Each little boy ran home in a frenzy, desperately hoping he wouldn't be caught.

"Mom! Mom!" Dan cried to my grandma. She turned. "We... we saw these guys in the woods! They were lighting firecrackers and they started a forest fire!"

The fire department was called, the fire put out. Yet to this day, no one knows that it was not a group of teens, but rather a group of rambunctious junior highers: Dan and the Gang.

Katie's birthday party

My little sister's birthday party was today. You'd never realize how loud, how truly loud a group of giggly, excited girls can be! Screaming all day... sometimes just for the heck of it. Thank goodness for the reprieves where I could slip into my room and have some peace and quiet.
But it wasn't all bad. I got to take most of the pictures and generally be a second host in addition to my mom. In all, it was actually pretty enjoyable!

So I've really been... well, doing some changing lately. I heard a brilliant message from the youth sermon on Saturday night. But I think God really spoke to my heart, more on the topic of myself than on Paul, as we were studying. I'm realizing just how arrogant and blatantly boastful I've been in the past, and I believe it's time for a change. "Humble" is the only word that has been going through my mind... it's like I nearly can't stop thinking about it. "W.W.J.D." is really becoming a regular question. I used to think of it as a nice, idyllic saying, but it's really taking on a meaning now. Anyways, just thought I'd share that with you :]

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Those disgusting ads!

I hate all these disgusting ads! I was just going to a website, one I visit occasionally, and was going to let my brother watch me play. After all, it's a rather amusing game, and I thought perhaps he'd like to play it after seeing how it works.

As he stood next to me, the page loaded. And what's the first thing that pops out? An unrealistic busty chick in a bikini! He, being the good little boy he is, automatically looked away. Thank goodness... but I'm so mad at that website! So uncalled for and... just, grr! I think there should be laws against that... I mean, technically the girl in the picture was "covered". But REALLY!

Needless to say, that website is off my favorites list. >:[

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Game Plan: Elizabeth

You are most like...

ELIZABETH!



Many people will consider you the stable, normal one. Maybe you weren't always that way. For now, though, you're able to go with the flow, but when provoked, you don't mind putting people in their place!

Take YOUR personalized quiz here!


Yay! Elizabeth!
Hmm... I'm not too sure of the "putting people in their place" part, though...
Anyways, Game Plan is a FANTABULOUS webmanga done by Inkhana! Go check it out!

You Shouldn't Run With Scissors


Haha, this comic never fails to make me chuckle :] Kind of sick humor, I know. But really... the simple expressions on their little cartoon faces say it all!

Monday, July 7, 2008

A Forbidden Love

Here is a short story I wrote a little while back. Hope you enjoy reading it, and constructive criticism is more than welcome!


A Forbidden Love
By J. Gould

The skies were gray in the sunless dusk. The ocean foamed at the shore, its voice like that of a purring lion. A breeze slipped around the slick rocks, embracing them. It was the same breeze that kissed the stones that also kissed the girl's cheek, gently lifting her hair behind her.
The girl's arms clung tightly around a boy; his arms were around her. Tears she wished would disappear pushed out of her eyes, sliding down her cheeks silently. The boy stroked her cheek gently.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, wiping away several tears. They were quickly replaced. There was a moment before the girl could find her voice.
“Reku, this…” She sobbed again. “…This is wrong. We can’t be together.”
Reku stared at the girl in his arms. His face revealed his confusion.
“What do you mean?” he asked, “Your father doesn’t know about us. It’ll be okay.”
The girl shook her head, a fresh wave of tears washing down her face. “That’s just it,” she said, “He doesn’t know. Reku, I-I… I’m betrothed.”
Reku took a step back in the sand, speechless.
“I’m sorry…” the girl stuttered. Reku drew back, eyes wide. His shock turned to anger and he grabbed the girl’s shoulders.
“YOU’RE BETROTHED AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!” he shouted, shaking her violently. The girl shook her head, looking down like a child being scolded. Her tears dripped into the water around her ankles, quickly dragged into waves.
Reku paused. “Anna…” he finally said. All anger had left his voice.
In one motion, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her. “I love you.”
Anna hugged him tightly. “I love you too.”

The couple embraced for a few moments more before Anna finally took a step back. Her tears had stopped, but her body was shaking with the effort of keeping them in.
“Our time together has been wonderful, Reku,” she finally managed to say. Reku was silent, his eyes full of disbelief and sorrow. “…Goodbye.”
Anna turned, staring at the sand with cloudy eyes. Slowly, she walked along the beach. The water was coming closer and the tide now left her a small strip of land between the ocean and the cliff.
Reku watched helplessly, his arms limp at his sides. His heart pounded for hatred and love for the girl in a strange mixture only a lover could understand. He gazed at her until the incoming tide finally forced him to turn in the opposite direction and walk away before he was trapped against the cliff wall.

-- 4 Months Later--

Anna’s wedding went smoothly. It was a sunny day full of laughter and food. The bride was by far the happiest. A smile shone brightly upon her face for the entire day.
From behind the front lawn’s bushes, Reku sat and watched the ceremony. His heart ached terribly for the girl who was now married to another. His heart seemed to stop at the “I do’s” and his eyes filled with tears as the newlyweds kissed. A kiss that should have been his. His mind began to wander as he imagined what life would be like if they had stayed together.
Shaking the painful thoughts off, he stood up and walked away. Anna was happy; that was all that mattered.

The next morning, the groom leaned over to wake his wife with a kiss. He stopped; her skin was cold. Her body was still; her eyes open and lifeless. Her gray hand grasped a knife plunged into her chest.
The groom looked around restlessly, pulling his eyes away from his dead wife. A paper on her nightstand caught his eye. The handwriting was loopy and elegant.

I love you, Reku.