What is love?

I've been debating whether to write this here or not, but I figure it can't hurt anything.

It's just some basic thoughts on love modified from my diary (yes, I DO keep a diary!) that I think anyone who is single or dating should remember. Now, I've never been in love, so I can really only echo back what I've been told and what I feel to be right.
Here it goes!

What is love? It is a choice. A conscious decision, not an uncontrollable feeling. It comes from knowing someone's heart inside and out, yet still dying to spend time with them. The person you marry should not be someone you're JUST passionate about. Anyone can be passionate. Anyone can get someone stuck in their head for weeks. It's when you know all the failures of a person and accept them, and the same the other way around, that you know there's something special.
The person you marry should be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. There won't always be a fiery romance as you age together! Your spouse should be your best friend.
Although not impossible to do without, a relationship's certainly easier when you share the same opinions. Even further, favorite activities.
The person you marry must have love for you bigger than your mistakes.
Find a spouse who will love you completely. Fully. Purely. Beautifully.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Three-day Weekend! :D

Ugh, I have a cough again. Dx I've had the darn thing since November. Constantly. I was just getting better, but now it's gaining force again. And I audition for the play on Thursday!! I have to keep this cough down!

Lots of drama (not just empty omg-drama, but the serious stuff) last night and this morning. Whoo-boy. Three separate events happening at once... it's crazy.

I can't talk long... some relating drama stuff going on this morning. See you. :]

The Teen Years

False maturity.
Mistakes.
No mistakes.
Regret.
Thoughtlessness.
Hope.
Aspiring.
Downtrodden.
Too many friends.
Not enough true ones.
Need the truth.
Don't tell me.
Thinking.
Mindless.
Waiting.

Teenage life is crazy. I'm beginning to think teenagers have an innate sense of hiding their speech behind empty code. Or is that just me? Here's some seemingly meaningless Christmas-themed jargon. Good luck interpreting!

'Twas less than a week before Christmas. "I'll check my emails!" the teen said, hoping for the one special letter from Santa, the one promising the latest information and secret gossip. The teen was disappointed until, later that day, Santa followed through as promised.

Dear Teen,
Got your request. Here's the news: The elves are all busy, but that's just the usual. So-and-so likes Cup-o-joe, but you already knew that. Not much to tell except for I'm getting constant emails from you. Shall I be annoyed?
Yours, Santa.
p.s. Be careful with your speech.

The teen read with caution, thinking it all through and heeding Santa's words. Yet, just as the teen always had done, the teen sped out another email requesting more information, adding a special "Merry Christmas" at the end. Feeling rather immature, the teen sat and waiting all day for the next update.

---

Yes, being a teen and writing in code is idiotic, immature, pointless, and wastes everyones' time. I apologize. They're just so much fun to write, even if it's impossibly difficult or impossibly easy to understand. Don't think too hard. :]

Misunderstandings

A misunderstanding never fully explained leaves much to be explored. They're one of the many oddities of this life, next to lost thoughts and unheard sounds. It's similar to the question: "How many numbers are between 1 and 2?" The answer, obviously, is infinity, for the decimal points would continue on forever (1.9, 1.99...).

So a misunderstanding occurs between two people, and the details, however seemingly obvious, are vastly intricate. One person is trained to believe one way, the other influenced the opposite. Or perhaps they believe the same thing, yet do not realize it? Then there are the blends creating a gradient of ideas, thoughts, and feelings.

Still following? May perhaps be continued. Perhaps not. And look at that... a beginning of a misunderstanding.

Dark Matter

Good morning!

Well, it's finally happened... internet on my laptop is gone. A bummer, really. But I'm hoping for a router for Christmas.

So I've been researching up a storm for my semester term paper in English. I've decided to do it on black matter and black holes. In my internet surfing, I found an online magazine, with several articles on black matter. The articles themselves were plain enough, but then I got down to the comments.
The first comment was from a woman who exclaimed how when she heard about dark matter, it was as if she knew all along. She says it is God himself, not some invisible matter that can be explained through reasoning.

Now, I personally don't believe that. That's the same sort of thing as when the early astronomers thought the heavenly spheres circled around perfectly, as if held directly in God's hand. We know now that it is gravity that keeps things in orbit, not the direct hand of God. (There are many more vague philosophical ideas that could be explored, but I won't get into those.)

So what do you think? Any thoughts or comments?

Just a wee little update...

Hello!
So I'm currently at a family friends' house. Finally got the internet connection organized...

So homecoming week was awesome. Homecoming dance was bittersweet. It really stinks when the one you like dances with three other people and gives you about... three glances.

Um, not much to share. I'm tired. I got up an hour late (6 instead of 5 am), so I was almost late to homeroom. I finished most of my homework; only an analysis of the English Bill of Rights left (fun fun fun).

There's not much else to share. Have a good week, everyone. :]

Mistakes.

Hello.
I am rather blue today. I hate sin, the way it overtakes you. I sinned today, like I have many days. It sickens me. I want to throw up. God, please forgive me, even though I don't deserve it. Aggh, please keep me from sin, Jesus.

Create in me a clean heart, O God
And renew a right spirit within me!
Cast me not away from your presence, O Lord!
Take not your Holy Spirit from me!
Restore unto me the joy of my salvation...
And renew a right spirit within me.

Spirit (Homecoming) Week hath begun!

Rawr. It's already 11 pm. Can't type long...

Well, it's spirit week at school. Here are the theme days:
Monday: Crazy Day
Tuesday: Senior Citizen Day
Wednesday: Old School Day
Thursday: Night on the Nile (Homecoming theme day)
Friday: School Spirit Day

I'm psyched! Today was crazy day... Talk about fantabulous outfits. Maybe (doubtful) I'll post a few. I wore a hot pink plaid full suit and completely mod killer heels. Jeez, it was fun!

Well, I'll try to update more later... Goodnight.

Things are looking up a bit

Mm, it's about 9:30 at night. I should probably go to bed... School's been so crazy lately. I was falling asleep on the couch downstairs. But then I had a wicked desire to check a few websites.
So here I am!

Things are going okay. Life's been a little turbulent lately, but things are starting to even out, I think. Some of my friends are going through a lot over things, so it's been very... taxing. Not to mention the homework ;;

Um, I'm actually at a bit of a loss for words, actually. Normally at this time of night, I'm chipper and even hyper. Bah, melancholy. I get it from my dad's side. All these weird little emotional quirks. As if being a teenager and female weren't enough!

I'm going to California on Friday. My Aunt Katie is having her first baby. A boy. The shower's on Saturday! It was a little awkward at Babies 'R' Us. I was really the only one of the group I was with (mom, grandma, little sister) who at least looks the right age. I really played up the I'm-just-a-kid part so no one would think I was the lucky mommy... ;;

I used to be a member of Gaia Online, an anime-based website where you can create your own little person, dress him or her up, play games, and socialize. I recently went back to my old account to check in on an old friend. See, when I was on Gaia, I was at the who-the-heck-am-I preteen stage. "Fell in love" with some guy who supposedly "loved" me back. I also said hi to him... the old friend told me this guy is totally backwards. Unfortunately, it's true. As it turns out, I've learned the reason he "broke up" (though we weren't technically dating) with me was because one, he had met someone new, and two, he knew he could never get me to do anything innappropriate over the internet. Boy, God certainly played a role in protecting me and my heart from that. But anyways I dropped him an email anyways. Maybe this is an opportunity God has given me to reach out.

I suppose I should go now. It's 9:45... I have to be up by 5 am. Oh, what fun being a student is!

'Til the chocolate chips,
Jessie

Just a little update

School's started. I guess it's been awhile since I've written here, hasn't it? Oh well. Here's a nice little post that will most likely end up fairly long!

I'm currently summarizing a chapter for my AP European History class. Isn't that fun? Heh, actually it is. Well, interesting at least. I don't really appreciate the 27 pages that must be read through, highlighted, and outlined on the computer...

I'm considering taking up either some form of martial arts, track, or fencing. Something to pull me away from the constant sit-in-front-of-the-computer-doing-homework-itis. It's time I get really involved in both my school and the community. The former is fairly easy, actually. I'm on homecoming and prom committee, sit with different people in different classes... This year is certainly looking up. Last year, I was...
(ta-da!)
NERD GIRL!
Not a bad thing, really, if you don't include the low self esteem. But things are really changing; God's doing so many things in my life right now. It's really exciting! :]

Other news, other news...
This evening the family watched "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". It's a movie I remember watching when I was really little. There are a few scenes of bad language and suggestive content, but besides that, it's a hilarious movie. A classic.

Hmm, so I guess it didn't turn out as long as I had anticipated. I'll try to get something besides my usual drawling soon. Perhaps a past English paper... those are always fun.

And to the readers of my little blog,
Swallow in good health!

Weekend Purity Conference

I spent a weekend at a Girls of Purity conference with some friends. The content was fairly basic, but the speaker was phenomenal. I'm not ready to spill everything that happened that weekend, but God really revealed some things to me through a girl we were travelling with. It was simply amazing, and I was left in tears of... well, I'm not sure what kind of tears they were. The best explaination is it was simply all the emotions involved in hearing such words in God's presence. I want what she has. God is pulling me closer to Him, and I often find myself thinking how he's sitting right beside me. Or standing right above me, hand on my shoulder. I find myself just talking to him about my day or asking for help. My youth pastor said something that really got me thinking:

"Your parents want the best for you and would go to great lengths for it," she said, "So just imagine how much further God would go."

It really impacted how I view my relationship with Him and prayer in general. I am God's daughter. He truly can do anything! Only He has the strength to get me through whatever problems the day holds. The very idea is amazing. Even when I mess up, He's right there saying He forgives me. I've been feeling so happy lately and I find I hardly care how I look anymore. Who cares about makeup, the perfect outfit, or how thin you are? God sure doesn't! And I certainly shouldn't feel I need any of it to be beautiful in God's eyes.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

School retreat!

I'm going to a retreat this weekend from Friday (that's tomorrow!) to Sunday. I'm so excited! First is the bus ride, a nice, long 3-hour one. Plenty of time to goof off and get re-aquainted. The retreat is for incoming juniors of my school. It's a Christian school, so it's almost like an ultra-tiny church retreat!

From the information letter, there's lots of fun things to do, including even bikes you can check out. I'm so excited! If I'm correct, we'll be going north, so it's going to be a little cooler (I hope).

I'm off to go packing... lots of things to do before tomorrow!

A Nonsensical Poem

I'm sitting here with Jamie.
The world is on my head,
And I pray I can forget it
Before I go to bed.
The air is very cold in here
Or is it very hot?
My siblings are humming, yes,
The gingerbread's been bought.
My head is all awhirling, yes,
Or is it all just still?
The cards are all around, a mess,
I have to pay the bill.
My foot sits on a hockey,
My backside on a green.
Oh where on earth am I?
Shall I ever be seen?
I wanted to write a nonsense poem.
This I hope I have accomplished.
A glass twists in a blue bubble.
...Jamie, what rhymes with accomplished? ^^;

Writer's brick?

I am very confused and sick.
Do I have writer's block, or brick?
I'm not too sure,
And I cannot cure,
But what I type is a lymeric!