Merry Christmas!

Afternoon, folks!

Hope you all had wonderful Christmases! Mine was... pretty darn fantastic. I feel so blessed. I recieved quite a bit of college prep stuff, including some sweaters (yes, I got clothes for Christmas!), a lovely scarf, and a Magic Bullet. I really got a Magic Bullet. And let me tell you, it looks darn silly on tv, but once it's in your hands, all you can think is, "Wow... I'm holding the ultimate kitchen appliance." So hurray for transportable blender machine things!

At the end of the morning, there was a single tiny gift under the tree. Long story short, it held car keys. I can still hardly believe it... what a blessing!! Now I'll be able to travel to college and back with ease. Plus school, plus work, plus friends' houses; Oh my goodness. It's a used car and is technically my mom's, but it's still in great condition and is primarily mine to use. I'm thinking of naming her Nellie, haha.

In other news, I have indeed decided on a college, but I obviously can't post which one it is here. Just know it's a... school. Mmhm. I have to start submitting financial aid stuff soon.

Anywho, a new year is on its way! I remember on 2000's eve, my whole church group gathered at someone's house and most of the kids fell asleep to a robot movie. It's the Disney movie with the gigantic robot who befriends a little boy... name, anyone? :/ Haha but everyone wore "2000" glasses and hats and whatnot. Hard to believe it was already ten years ago!

So what are your resolutions? I haven't really thought of any yet, so here's a list off of the top of my head...

• Get in shape (every resolution list has to start with this one!)
• Paint a masterpiece by the end of the year
• Not always get ticked off with my brother and sister when they start arguing
• Keep the car in tip-top shape
• Memorize more Bible verses (I know it's vague, but I don't have an action plan yet)

So, only five, but you have to be realistic. ;]

Drive safely, don't drink and drive, and all that good stuff. Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

How great is our Lord Jesus Christ! And how great is our God who has lavished upon us so many blessings both today and all year!

Yes, I'm being lame and blogging on Christmas day. But truly, how blessed we are.

Long day, long work ahead... but Christmas is coming!

Ahh, life has been crazy! I apologize profusely for not keeping current. As an excuse, I'm in school every day, then I either have choir, work, or a mountain of homework after school. Well, the third is every night, regardless...

Life's good. Today some buddies and I drove to Chipotle for dinner before choir (best place in the world). After, we got some hot chocolate and just drove around. Ended up on a lower rung of a mountainside. It actually rained today, so the lighting was exquisite. This was taken from my phone -why do I never have a camera on days like this?- so please excuse the poor quality!













In other news, finals are coming up. Yike-o. I really should be catching up on missed sleep right now, but I guess that'll have to wait.

Christmas is just around the corner! Finished your Christmas shopping? It seems that each year my mom approaches me and says she's already bought presents for my siblings. I pay for a few items and wha-la, the gift is from me. I suppose I feel a little guilty, after all, I didn't hand-pick the gifts for them. But then again, they'll be happy either way, and it saves trouble on everyones' part. Next year I'll bring some stuff home from college, perhaps, but for now, I'll rely on mom. I won't be able to for much longer!

Well, it's definitely time for bed now. The headache is creeping on... must fall asleep before it takes hold. Say hello to the sun for me... haven't seen him all day. <3

Sisters, guard your hearts.

I'm feeling a bit down tonight. It's 1 am, I'm in the middle of cleaning my room (weird timing, I know, but it has to be done at some point!), and I feel a bit disconnected from the rest of the world. I guess that shows my dependence on the internet, hmm? None of my friends are awake, and I'm the only one stirring the air in this house. Besides the ceiling fans.

I have a heavy topic on my mind tonight, for one thing, that I feel I must constantly remind myself and my friends of. Guard your heart. Especially you sisters who are not entertaining marriage any time soon. Don't listen to what your friends at school may say- Don't listen to the lies that you should flirt with the cute guy a few seats away in English class. But it goes beyond that. Friendships are friendships. It's alright to have close guy friends. But do not allow a good friendship to become an intimate one. It's natural to want to run to the strong, upstanding guys when we girls need help (help that is more often that not emotional). But be on your guard! Do not become intimate with a guy unless you plan to marry him. Once you begin to think of him as more than a friend, you start down a one-way path to a broken heart. After all, it is likely that you may both end up being attracted to one another. That's often how it works- you are attracted to someone who is attracted to you.

However, these teenage relationships progress like a wildfire. Bam, bam, bam. Smiling, holding hands, kissing. But sisters, be warned. They end as quickly as they begin.

Guard your heart so that you are not overwhelmed by your own hormonal feelings!

This little sermon is spurned on by a happening in my own life. I am suddenly seeing a close male friend in a different light, in a way that I don't want to see him. It's a reminder and a perfect example of what is described above. I think I'm going to have to back up a bit.

Note: Please take into account that I am a teen girl. I speak what comes to mind, and often that source is often a bit jumbled. :] But the foundation is what I know to be true.

My senior year of high school starts on the 17th. Penny for the thoughts of you fellow students...

Freshmen
What do you expect high school to be?
Any goals for the new school year?
Just because you're at the bottom of the ladder, it doesn't mean you can't change your school.

Sophomores
You're not an upperclassman yet, but don't let that stop you from making older friends.
About half of you will change drastically over high school. For better or worse is your choice.
What did you do last year that you regret? What can you do to stop it from happening again?
What can you do to develop your interests?

Juniors
Get ready for a heavy workload.
You're halfway there, so don't stop now!
Graduation is closer than you think. Do you feel ready to tackle the next hurdle?
What can you do to ensure a good year for yourself and your classmates? Make the best of it; there's only so much time before it's over.

Seniors
I'll know what to say next year. :p

The name of "Jessie"

My friend sparked an interest in me concerning my name. He spoke of Jacob's name means "deceiver," or something along those lines. Apparently Jacob (as in the father of the twelve sons) deceived people many times before his name was changed to Israel. It got me thinking: if names have so much power, why on earth haven't I looked into the meaning of my own?

Here are some keywords I found after researching online for a time:
God is gracious
Rich
God beholds
One who looks forth

I haven't a clue what the last one could mean. There are too many things associated with the phrase. The others, however, are exciting!

Here are the male meanings:
Wealthy
Jehovah/Yahweh exists
My husband
Gift

Based on the meaning "my husband," I'm assuming the meanings aren't interchangeable. Or, at least, that meaning isn't.

There are several arguments over where "Jessie" originated, and maybe they are all correct in their own way. For example, there is the most obvious, from the name "Jessica." Jessica was first created by Shakespeare. It is thought he created the name from Iscah (in his time it would have been spelled as Jesca). A Jessy, on the other hand, has a less complicated origin as "a maker of hesses for hawks."

Who knew?

Now, what does your name mean? I highly suggest looking into it. It's exciting to learn the history of your name, the word that you know yourself by, and, perhaps, defines you. But the latter comment is a discussion for another time. :]

Senior at long last. :]

Can you believe it? It rained on the last day of school... a perfect ending.
A friend (Amanda) and I hung out after the last final, waiting for my dad to pick us up. It hit us square in the foreheads... we're seniors. Honestly, it was like liquid power seeping from a giant funnel into our veins. We. Are. Seniors.

I have so much hope for next year. This year was one of transition... from nerdy underclassman to somewhat improved junior. Now, it's time to revel in all the changes and get excited for even more. I cannot wait to revel in the freedom call car, job, and time!

I suppose now's a time for reflection, too. Hmm. I'm really glad to have the friends I have now. Second semester was insane, but I came out alive, with both old and new friends in hand. :] I'm so happy to have been in my school's a cappella choir. It's really changed my voice, my feelings, my outlook on life... haha!

I regret a few things too. But everyone does. I suppose everyone appreciates generally the same things, so what's really the point of writing this?

Well, this is generally a half-wasted entry. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Especially if you don't know me (is there anyone who reads this but doesn't know me?)... I have the utmost respect for you.

Hang loose, friends. :]

Personality Plus

I've been reading a remarkable book called "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer. At first glance it seems cheesy: anyone would feel self-conscious when picking up a book with a subtitle of "How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself." However, I cannot stress how accurate its personality portrayals are. I've taken multiple personality tests (Facebook, professional programs, etc.) out of curiosity, but nothing has even come close. This books nails personalities on the dot.

This first step is a small evaluation to see which of the four traits (Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric, Perfect Melancholy, and Peaceful Phlegmatic) you are; or, rather, what your blend of them is. It pinpoints your behavior and why you do it, as well as explaining why others do certain things and how to get along with them.

It's been interesting to see the personality traits of my friends be explained. For example, I have one friend, Sarah, who is my best example of a Popular Sanguine. Always the bubbly one, life of the party, and attracted to bright colors. Mr. Meyer, my history teacher, is a Powerful Choleric who is very straightforward and no-nonsense when it comes to getting things done. My dad is a Perfect Melancholy, musically-oriented, very attentive to detail, and extremely introspective.

In conclusion, I highly reccommend this book to anyone and everyone. It's interesting and fun to read, to be sure, in addition to giving direction if you're feeling a bit lost about self identity (seems corny, but entirely true!). In my opinion, it answers so many questions and sheds light on so many aspects of life. I may be biased because I've just read the book, but I believe it provides the kind of knowledge that can benefit you throughout the rest of your life.

In other news, I have to go take care of my pet snake. Au revoir!

Angry

I regret it. I always do.
Watch an awesome movie. Get caught up in the fantasy.
Look up the actor. Find out he's some old gay guy.
Way to ruin a great impression of Nightcrawler in X2.

Ugh, it makes me so mad. I debated and debated.
Finally went for it.
After all, Nightcrawler is the coolest. <3
Man, I could eat a shoe right now.

Goodnight.

The air smells line Pinesol

Good evening. Man, first night in awhile that I've been able to get online. I had a term paper due yesterday, which I finally got finished. After my AP Euro test this morning, any amount of studying seems small! ^^

We just got a digital converter box hooked up. My parents also ended cable. No biggy; I don't watch much tv anyways. I'm just a little disappointed we don't have Discovery anymore.
On the upside, I've discovered NPR (on the radio, for those who are more visually-inclined). I have it on fairly often. It's great to take in information like that while doing algebra.

Mm, I'm tired. Tomorrow's not going to be a fun morning. Saturday's even worse. My mom, sister, and I are going to the church where I take piano lessons and cleaning for 3 hours. Then my mom's hosting a jewelry party (like a Pampered Chef party). Bianca, Brigitte, and Nicolette are coming, hopefully! Gosh, I hope you guys can. I miss you. :[ Anyways, then at 3:30 I'm leaving with my school's a cappella choir down south for about 6 hours to sing at a church down there Sunday morning. We're housing with some of the congregation members. Six hours is awhile... hope boredom doesn't set in. You can't really write much in a bumpy bus.

The Europe trip I'm taking with my class is coming up quickly. Next weekend! It's crazy. I got a camera for the trip; just trying to get my hands on a memory card and batteries.

A random point of interest...

Wait, just kidding. Too tired to say anything interesting.
G'night. :p

Patience

So I've been a bit addicted to youtube lately. Found a great new jpop band (Japanese Pop, for those out of the look. ;] just kidding, of course) called Perfume.

Got my permit last week... went on my first (legal) driving lesson! On the open road for the first time. ^^ Nearly went into the wrong lane and the curves where pretty jerky at first, but I'm getting better. Woohoo! :]

On another note...
Every day is a constant battle between following God or the world. It's heart-gripping. The world holds so many allures... so many desires. I'm not talking anything sexual, but just the simple things... "I wish I could be like her" "Why don't I act like that?" "How come I don't look like that?" It's times like that I just want to scream out and sit in silence with only the silk called God enveloping me. It's then that I know everything's fine, and the outside melts away. Who cares what I look like? God is the mirror of the heart.

Valentine's Day has gotten me thinking. By the way, happy v-day. ^^ But really. Through one of my teachers at school, I've learned some incredible things about love. I'll try to share it, but it's not easy to explain. My heart has retreated from my sleeve at long last and life has so much more purpose. Crazy, I know! Yet it's true. Things will still be a battle as far as guys go, but purpose is starting to emerge. True love waits. I'm not talking just about abstinence here. It's suddenly all become so clear... true love waits. True love says "I will wait in silence for you, with eyes open and observing, but my heart is none but yours." Wow, this is turning into a diary. >.> But anyways, it simplifies matters of love tenfold. Girls, let me tell you right now... devote yourself to God and only God, and everything else follows suit. It's amazing. Be patient.

Patience. What a beautiful word.

"Spring Fling"

Ugh, what a retarded night.
Spent all day doing chores. Got ready to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
Worst. Dance. EVER.
The music was from an ipod! (What, too cheap to get a DJ?) No one was encouraged to dance, so things took awhile to catch on.
There was only one teacher chaperoning, and it was... weird.
Things were also awkward, for reasons undisclosed.
DRAMA. Dude, where do highschoolers come up with all this stuff? It's like... their lives. Dx Wake up, please! There's more to life than what happened at so-and-so's house 50 million years ago!
Ugh, night wasted. I should have saved my money and stayed home. Could have finished my term paper due on Monday (stupid thing).
Going to bed. What a wasted night. A million... billion things better I could have done.

A day in the life of a dream

So I've been wanting to make a blog entry lately, only I'm not sure what about.

Let's see... I've been reading Inkheart by Cornelia Funke. The movie looks pretty good, but I want to finish the book first! The book is well-written. It's refreshing after a lot of empty books with no real... thickness about them. Inkheart is pleasantly thought-provoking.

Last night, as a family, we finished reading Watership Down. My dad read the entire thing aloud to us. A really good book, but I suspect it might get a bit boring reading it on your own. Still, a work of genius.

So I have a 12-page paper due on Monday. I have about 2 and a half done. That's the downfall of reading... get sucked in, and nothing (NOTHING) will get done! I've been reading all, all, all day... barely any homework done, no piano practice, no movement... just sitting and reading, and enjoying every minute of it.

I've been kind of obsessed with dreams lately. And, subsequently, an obsession with telling only a select few their contents (and even then, never the whole story). Dreams are incredible... you're a genius when you're asleep. I've had some particularly vivid ones lately, the kind you wish existed, wished so incredibly much... it's painful, returning to reality. Returning to a reality without mermaids, flying, dolls that come to life, and tiny fairy princes. Those are my dreams. And how positively amazing they are!

On a more realistic update... got my permit today! Six months and I'll be driving all on own ;] My mom's a little ticked because when I get a job over the summer, she'll be driving me there and back, etc. Kind of a sticky situation there.

Going to Europe in one month!

What is love?

I've been debating whether to write this here or not, but I figure it can't hurt anything.

It's just some basic thoughts on love modified from my diary (yes, I DO keep a diary!) that I think anyone who is single or dating should remember. Now, I've never been in love, so I can really only echo back what I've been told and what I feel to be right.
Here it goes!

What is love? It is a choice. A conscious decision, not an uncontrollable feeling. It comes from knowing someone's heart inside and out, yet still dying to spend time with them. The person you marry should not be someone you're JUST passionate about. Anyone can be passionate. Anyone can get someone stuck in their head for weeks. It's when you know all the failures of a person and accept them, and the same the other way around, that you know there's something special.
The person you marry should be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. There won't always be a fiery romance as you age together! Your spouse should be your best friend.
Although not impossible to do without, a relationship's certainly easier when you share the same opinions. Even further, favorite activities.
The person you marry must have love for you bigger than your mistakes.
Find a spouse who will love you completely. Fully. Purely. Beautifully.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Three-day Weekend! :D

Ugh, I have a cough again. Dx I've had the darn thing since November. Constantly. I was just getting better, but now it's gaining force again. And I audition for the play on Thursday!! I have to keep this cough down!

Lots of drama (not just empty omg-drama, but the serious stuff) last night and this morning. Whoo-boy. Three separate events happening at once... it's crazy.

I can't talk long... some relating drama stuff going on this morning. See you. :]

The Teen Years

False maturity.
Mistakes.
No mistakes.
Regret.
Thoughtlessness.
Hope.
Aspiring.
Downtrodden.
Too many friends.
Not enough true ones.
Need the truth.
Don't tell me.
Thinking.
Mindless.
Waiting.